Going Home - January 11, 2006

Day 3 was a huge day for all of us! Kelsie nursed successfully for the first time and we were both released to go home a process that took the majority of that day! I am so thankful to the nurse in the NICU that day for helping me figure out how to get Kelsie to nurse. Unfortunately when Kelsie was born Clear Lake Regional hospital did not have a lactation consultant on staff, and though several nurses attempted to assist me they really didn't have a lot of expertise. However the NICU nurse that last day taught me so much and was the only one that gave us advice that worked. She is the one that suggested that I pump a little to get the milk started beforehand, because Kelsie wasn't used to waiting for it. She also suggested we use a syringe full of breast milk to get her interested. Everything she said worked like a charm and Kelsie ate like she had been breast feeding forever that first time!

I am so thankful that she nursed successfully before we were sent home. It made me feel so much better about going home! I had been so worried that if we left and she wasn't nursing it would never happen. I was ready to go, because I hadn't had a good night's sleep since I entered the hospital that Saturday. It was Wednesday and even though I knew I wouldn't get a full night's sleep with a nursing newborn I figured I would sleep better at home!

Unfortunately it didn't hit me right away that I would no longer have the nurses to help me anymore. It is disconcerting how clueless you feel when you first leave the hospital. I of course had my mom, but that didn't really make up for the level of ignorance about baby care I felt that day. When it finally did hit me it made me get emotional again, so when she was brought in the room I started crying again! Part of it was hormones and the other part was an overwhelming feeling of helplessness.

I was able to pull it together again and was ready to go home! We packed her into her car seat, which by the way is not an easy task the first few times and waited for the wheelchair. By the time we left it was almost 8:30 pm and I was hungry and tired. I had been focusing on getting to the NICU every couple of hours to feed Kelsie so much that I had forgotten to eat!

We got home and introduced Kelsie to her home and then we all had something to eat! It was such a relief to be in familiar surroundings again and I couldn't wait to start my life with my daughter, my miracle Kelsie!

My first chance to get to know Kelsie - January 10, 2006

Finally as of 4:00am on January 10th I had been fever free for 24 hours. I was so excited when the tech confirmed it for me that I called the NICU right then and there to see if I could go see Kelsie! She said she would have to ask the doctor when she came in before she could approve it and I was crushed. I started bawling on the phone so loud that I woke my poor mother up. She woke up in a panic thinking something terrible had happened, but I couldn't help it I was so emotional from everything that had occurred that I just couldn't hold back anymore. I wanted to see my baby and I couldn't stand the thought of waiting another few hours!

I was able to calm down and I think I even slept a little, because the nurse came in and told me I could go see Kelsie for sure I just needed to wait a little longer. It was probably better that way looking back, because I was able to eat something and get my strength up before we went down there. Mike came with me that first time and I was so happy to have him there.

When the time finally came for me to go down I couldn't hardly contain my excitement. I tried to go a little faster than I should have and I got a little dizzy, but I had plenty of time to recover while washing up. You have to scrub in similar to what I imagine doctors do before going into surgery before entering the NICU. Any exposed skin that may touch the baby has to be scrubbed. It was extremely difficult to accomplish that with the wires I was hooked up to and the various bracelets that were on my arm, but I managed!

Finally I got to go inside! It happened to be feeding time for Kelsie so she was crying for her bottle. I remember walking up to her and saying "It's OK baby mommy is here". She immediately stopped crying and turned her head a little toward me I think I cried a little myself at her reaction. I couldn't believe that she responded to my voice so quickly. I attempted my first diaper change then and it was not exactly graceful. Unfortunately it was a poopy one and I got some on her blankets, but I still managed to get the job done.

Finally I got to hold my baby!!!! I attempted to nurse her without success. She was too used to taking a bottle. I was disappointed, but I knew it would take some time to switch from bottle to breast and I was too happy holding her to care too much about that. It was magical to hold her in my arms although somewhat awkward. We both were hooked up to wires and gadgets, so it definitely was a challenge to hold her without getting everything tangled. On top of that she was hooked up to monitors on her chest that came off very easily and would set off alarms when they did. It took several adjustments but we finally got her in a good position. I was finally able to hold and feed her for the first time! It was an emotional and exciting day! Mike did an excellent job of taking pictures that didn't show a lot of the wires, because we had pushed them behind us as much as possible.

For the rest of the day I tried to be there for each feeding so I could try to get her to nurse. That first day she latched on a couple of times, but got way too frustrated for any success. I wasn't giving up and I just kept pumping, because I knew we would get there eventually!

The First 2 Days - January 8th and January 9th

Although Kelsie was born healthy and did not show any signs of negative effects from the infection, she was put in the NICU and was administered precautionary antibiotics for the first 2 days of her life. She was doing really so well that she was quickly moved to the lowest level of the NICU which is where the healthiest NICU babies stay.

Unfortunately during this time I was not able to go see my baby. They said that I couldn't go visit her until I was fever free for 24 full hours. Those 2 days were definitely a rollercoaster of emotion. My temperature was monitored every few hours and there were times when they would come in and I was fever free (less than 100.4), but then the next time it shot back up again. My body was still fighting the effects of the infection. I got so frustrated throughout my entire stay at the hospital, because they were not only monitoring my temperature and blood pressure every few hours but they were administering antibiotics every few hours as well. Nurses did the antibiotics and techs took the temperature and blood pressure. Of course they never came at the same time, so my attempts at sleep were often foiled because they came and woke me up so often. In addition to that I trying to pump every two hours in order to get my milk supply going for when I could finally see Kelsie.

I was so thrilled when I finally started getting the first few drops of milk. I was so worried, because nothing was coming out in the beginning. Even when I only got a tiny bit I was able to put it in a syringe for them to feed Kelsie. Of course that was not enough so she was given bottles of formula in addition to that, but at least she got some breast milk in the very beginning! It was also good, because it gave me a chance to start walking around. You have to do that as soon as you can after a c-section to get over the soreness. Even on meds it isn't pleasant the first few times you get out of bed. I remember being so self conscious because I had to walk around with an IV machine and had all kinds of things hooked up to me. It didn't stop me though. I was determined to bring that milk to my baby! One of the times I went up there my doctor was in the hospital and she had the nurses bring Kelsie out to a viewing room, so I could at least see her! That was definitely the highlight of my day.

Everyone was so supportive during this time. Mike's mom and my parents visited almost every day. My mom stayed with me the entire time and I don't know what I would have done without them all. They helped me to get through a very difficult couple of days and they reminded me to focus on the positives as much as possible in order to help me get well as soon as possible.

Mike and the grandparents (Mike's mom and my mom and dad) went down to visit Kelsie often during those first two days and took some pictures and even a little snip it of video. I was so thankful that they were able to be there even though I wasn't. Mike definitely got a crash course in baby care. He would change her diaper when he went in and I think he even got to feed her some of her first bottles! I was so thankful that she was healthy, but I wanted to see her ASAP!

Kelsie's Birth - January 8, 2006

Kelsie's birth did not happen at all like I planned. I had a well written a birth plan that stated exactly what I had in mind for her arrival. I wanted to allow her to come naturally with as little intervention as possible and I was planning to attempt to deliver naturally without an epidural. As with all good plans that did not happen at all.

My due date was January 4, 2006 and I was HUGE! Everyone kept saying I would have her early and that there was no way I would go past my due date etc, etc. My childbirth class teacher even joked each class that I would not make it to the next one. Especially since I started to swell terribly and had some problems with high blood pressure towards the end. Well they were all wrong!

My due date came and went with no signs of labor in sight. My obstetrician had even scheduled me to be induced on my due date, but the hospital didn't have room for me. I was 80% effaced, but barely dilated enough to even count it when she checked me at my last appointment. I did everything I knew to do to try to naturally bring on labor to no avail.

Well the Saturday (Jan 7) after my due date I woke up feeling bad. My back was really hurting terribly and I just didn't feel like myself. We were supposed to go to my friend's daughter's birthday that day, but I knew I wasn't up for it. I told Mike to go ahead with out me and I would be fine. I am so thankful he didn't listen to me! By noon that day I really felt sick, so I took my temperature. I had a little bit of one, but nothing that would be of too much concern. We monitored it for a few hours and it slowly, but steadily began to climb. Finally we called the doctor on call and he said to go on into the hospital.

As soon as I got into a room they took my temperature and it was around 101 at that point. They decided to start me on IV fluids, but I was so dehydrated that they had a terrible time getting the IV into my arm. The nurse I had was apparently the best nurse they had in the labor and delivery department and she was about to call an anesthesiologist because of how many times it took her to get it in, but she finally got it on the last time she was going to try! They hooked me up to all kinds of monitors mostly to monitor Kelsie and make sure she wasn't in distress and then they gave me some extra strength Tylenol in an attempt to get my temperature down.

Sadly it didn't work. Over the course of several more hours my temperature continued to climb until it reached 103. I felt horrible, but my main concern was for Kelsie. At that point they became very concerned about Kelsie, because the temperature in utero is a degree higher than what I was running. The nurse pushed the doctor into performing an emergency c-section, because she suspected that I had an infection of the amniotic fluid.

I was so weak that I had a really hard time sitting up and holding onto the nurse when they put the IV into my back. I was terrified that I was going to move and cause them to injure me, but I didn't and everything went in fine. The doctor warned me that the surgery was going to make me even sicker, but I didn't realize how true that was! I don't remember much about the surgery, but I remember distinctly hearing Kelsie cry in what seemed like 2 seconds after they put the curtain up and asking Mike is that our baby? I couldn't understand how she came out so quickly. Mike brought her over to see me for a few seconds, but then they whisked her away to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Mike followed her and I was alone through the rest of the surgery.

The main two things I remember about the rest of the surgery is shaking uncontrollably and feeling extremely cold. My reaction to being cold is always to try to warm my hands between my knees, so the anesthesiologist had to tell me several times not to put my hands under the sheet. I was so delirious from being sick it didn't register that I was cut open under there. He kept trying to cover me with more blankets, but I just couldn't get warm because my fever spiked even higher during the surgery.

I am so thankful that we had such a wonderful nurse when I went into the hospital if it wasn't for her I don't think the doctor would have taken Kelsie when he did and I don't know what that would have done to her. Luckily as it turned out she did not have any negative effects from the infection of the amniotic fluid and she was born healthy.

Kelsie Jean Wright was welcomed into the world January 8, 2006 at 1:08 am. She weighed 8lbs 8.8ozs and was 201/4 inches long. We always joke the 8 is going to be her lucky number!